Strict Parenting and Its Effects on Children’s Behavior

By: Maritza Gomez

Introduction

Parents use different approaches when raising their children, especially when it comes to discipline and setting rules. Some parents believe that being strict is necessary to keep children safe and teach responsibility, while others worry that too much control can harm children emotionally. At the same time, many parents are moving toward softer parenting styles that focus on emotional understanding and fewer punishments. Because of these differences, there is growing debate about how parenting styles affect children’s behavior and development. This debate has become important as children today face a variety of challenges, including academic pressure, peer influences, and exposure to social media, all of which can shape their daily experiences and decision-making. Parents' choices about discipline can play an important role in guiding how children go around these challenges. This debate raises important questions about discipline and its long-term effects. Research on harsh parental discipline suggests that overly strict parenting can increase emotional stress and lead to behavior problems such as aggression or acting out. On the other hand, critics of soft or permissive parenting argue that a lack of structure can prevent children from learning self-control and accountability. While both strict and soft parenting styles aim to support children, each approach has potential disadvantages. Overall, the evidence suggests that a balanced parenting style, one that combines emotional support with clear expectations, may be more effective in promoting healthy behavior than extreme approaches.

Perspective #1: Overly Strict Parenting Contributes to Behavioral Problems

Many psychologists and child development researchers argue that excessive strictness in parenting can interfere with healthy emotional and behavioral development. In the article “The Impact of Harsh Parental Discipline and Emotional Warmth on Adolescent Problem Behaviors,” Zhang et al. examine how harsh disciplinary practices affect adolescents. The authors explain that strict and punitive parenting is associated with increased internalized behaviors, such as stress and fear, as well as externalized behaviors like aggression and acting out (Zhang et al.). Rather than improving discipline, harsh punishment may create emotional strain that leads to greater behavioral difficulties. Zhang et al. further explains that harsh discipline affects adolescents by weakening their ability to regulate emotions and control impulses. When punishment is frequent or intense, adolescents may experience higher levels of stress, which can come between self-control and increase negative reactions. The authors briefly reference self-determination theory, explaining that adolescents have basic psychological needs for autonomy, competence, and emotional connection, which can be limited by overly strict practices (Zhang et al.). Overly strict parenting can limit these needs, particularly autonomy and emotional support, which increases the likelihood of behavioral problems (Zhang et al.). From this perspective, strict parenting is viewed as counterproductive rather than beneficial. The article explains that emotional warmth is linked to fewer internalized problems, such as stress and anxiety, but it does not eliminate the negative effects of harsh discipline on adolescent behavior (Zhang et al.). Supporters of this view argue that parenting strategies focused primarily on punishments may worsen behavioral issues instead of preventing them, reinforcing the importance of balance between discipline and emotional support. For this reason, supporters of this perspective believe that overly strict parenting can limit healthy emotional development and increase behavior problems, suggesting that discipline without emotional support may do more harm than good (Zhang et al.).

Perspective #2: Soft Parenting Can Lead to Behavioral Challenges

Others believe that soft parenting, while well-intentioned, may create challenges for children when clear rules and consequences are not enforced. In the article, “We Are Failing Our Children with Soft Parenting,” Jessey Anothny discusses concerns that parenting styles with few rules or consequences may prevent children from learning responsibility and self-control. According to this perspective, when parents avoid setting clear boundaries or enforcing discipline, children may struggle to understand limits and expectations. As a result, children may be more likely to act out, ignore authority, or have difficulty managing their behavior in structured environments such as school (Anthony). The article suggests that while emotional support is important, children also need consistent guidance and accountability to develop healthy behavior. Without structure, children may not learn how to handle emotions, follow rules, or take responsibility for their own actions. Supporters of this viewpoint argue that soft parenting can unintentionally create confusion and insecurity, as children rely on adults to provide directions and stability. From this perspective, discipline is seen as a necessary tool for teaching life skills rather than something that should be avoided. Overall, this side of the debate highlights that lack of clear rules and consequences can negatively affect children’s behavior and development, even when parenting is well-intended (Anthony). Another concern brought up by supporters of this viewpoint is that children need early exposure to discipline and consequences of their actions in order to develop maturity and build character. The article suggests that when parents consistently step in to remove discomfort or excuse poor behavior, children may struggle to develop accountability (Anthony). Therefore, discipline is not meant to be seen as harsh, but rather a necessary part of teaching children how to function responsibly within our society. As well with teaching them decent manners and not allowing them to act out of line.

Points of Agreement

Although the two perspectives approach parenting from different angles, they share important similar ground about the influence of parental behavior on children’s development. Both sources agree that parenting style significantly affects children’s emotional and behavioral outcomes, and “Parents play a fundamental role in shaping their children’s behavior” (Anthony). For example, research on disciplinary practices finds that “harsh parental discipline is associated with increased internalized and externalized problem behaviors and impaired emotional regulation in adolescents,” which shows that “parenting behaviors significantly predicted adolescent problem behaviors" (Zhang et al.). Likewise, Anthony argues that current parenting trends are shaping children’s capacities in meaningful ways, asserting that parents' behaviors influence how children view authority and boundaries, “when parents consistently step in to remove discomfort or excuse poor behavior, children may struggle to develop accountability” (Anthony). Both sources acknowledge that parent involvement matters and it links with how children manage emotions and behaviors. Both sources also recognize that children require emotional involvement from their parents or guardians, even if they disagree on how it should be expressed. Zhang et al. Similarly, Anthony does not reject emotional support altogether, rather she cautions that support must be paired with balance, pointing that children need “consistent guidance, discipline, and education to develop healthy behavior” (Anthony). In this aspect, both sides agree that emotional support plays a role in character development, even as they structure their role differently. Not only but also, both perspectives agree that extreme approaches to parenting can be harmful. Zhang et al. link punitive discipline to negative outcomes such as stress and anger/acting out, suggesting that balance is important because strictness alone does not prevent behavioral difficulties (Zhang et al.). Correspondingly, Anthony warns that parenting without consequences and direction can lead to confusion and insecurity among children, causing them to struggle with boundaries and accountability (Anthony). Neither extreme, harsh punishment, or soft, permissiveness, is ideal to adolescents. Parenting should not be random but more intentional to children's developmental needs.

Points of Disagreement

Despite both perspectives agreeing that parenting plays a major role in child and adolescent behavior, they strongly disagree on what should matter more, emotional warmth or disciplinary structure. One major disagreement is whether emotional support alone is enough to guide children’s behavior. Supporters of emotional warmth believe that being caring and understanding helps reduce problem behaviors, but research on harsh discipline suggests that strict and punitive parenting has a much stronger and more immediate effect on children's behavior. Zhang et al. found that “harsh parental discipline significantly predicts both internalized and externalized problem behaviors,” showing that discipline methods have direct connection to negative outcomes. This argues the idea of emotional warmth should be the main focus in parenting. Another point of disagreement is how each approach affects children’s self -control. Emotional warmth focused parenting assumes that children will naturally develop self-regulation when they feel supported. However, the harsh discipline perspective argues that strict punishment can actually damage a child's ability to control their behavior. The study explains that harsh discipline lowers inhibitory control, which is the ability to stop impulsive actions (Zhang et al.). The authors state that “inhibitory control plays a significant mediating role in the impact of harsh parental discipline on problem behaviors” (Zhang et al.). This means strict punishment doesn't just affect behavior directly, it also weakens the child’s internal self control, leading to more issues over time. The two perspectives also disagree on whether warmth can cancel our harsh discipline. Some parents may assume that being emotionally supportive makes strict discipline less harmful but Zhang et al. challenge the idea by showing that harsh discipline predicts problem behaviors even when emotional warmth. Nonetheless, Zhang et al. argues against this idea by explaining that even in families where warmth exists, harsh discipline still predicts problem behaviors.The study shows that harsh parental discipline has a stronger and more consistent impact on adolescent problem behaviors, while emotional warmth has a more soft effect (Zhang et al.). This shows that warmth does not fully protect children from the harm caused by punitive parenting. Finally, the perspectives disagree on what parenting style should be recommended overall. Supporters of structured discipline believe rules and punishment are necessary to control behavior, while emotional-warmth advocates prioritizing connection and understanding. However, Zhang et al. come to terms that parenting styles like “strict father and kind mother” are not scientifically recommended because harsh discipline continues to negatively affect adolescents even when warmth is present (Zhang et al.). This directly challenges the belief that strict discipline is helpful or necessary for healthy development.

Strengths and Weaknesses of Source #1

Understanding how parenting affects children requires more than opinions, it requires evidence, and that is where Zhang et al.’s study shows its greatest strength. One major strength of this source is based on empirical research rather than personal belief. The authors use data collected from adolescents to examine how harsh parental discipline and emotional warmth relate to problem behaviors. This allows them to clearly show patterns between parenting practices and outcomes such as anxiety, stress, aggression, and acting out. Because this study uses statistical analysis, the findings feel more reliable and credible than arguments based only on opinion and observation. Another strength is that the Zhang et al. do not look at discipline in isolation. Instead, they consider emotional warmth and inhibitory control, which helps explain why harsh discipline leads to negative behaviors. By discussing inhibitory control, the study shows that harsh punishment can get in between a child’s ability to regulate impulses, making behavioral problems more likely over time. However, despite these strengths, the source has some weaknesses. One limitation is that the study focuses only on adolescents, meaning the findings may not apply the same way to younger children. Parenting effects can change as children grow, and the study does not address early childhood development. Another weakness is that the data is self-reported, which means adolescents' perceptions of parenting may not be completely accurate or objective. Participants may exaggerate or misunderstand their parents' behavior. Even with these limitations, Zhang et al.’s article remains a strong academic source because it is research based, detailed, and grounded in psychological theory, making it highly useful for understanding the effects of harsh parenting.

Strengths and Weaknesses of Source #2

Parenting debates often become emotional and personal, and Jessey Anthony’s article reflects this reality by speaking directly to parents’ everyday concerns. One major strength of Anthony's article is how accessible and relatable it is to a general audience. Unlike academic studies, the article uses clear language and familiar examples that make the argument easy to understand. Anthony effectively explains why soft parenting, when taken too far, may lead to problems such as lack of accountability, poor behaviors, and confusion about boundaries. This makes the article engaging and persuasive, especially for parents who may recognize these behaviors in real-life situations. Another strength is that the article highlights the importance of structure, responsibility, and consequences, which are often overlooked in discussions that focus mainly on emotional support. Anthony argues that children need guidance and discipline to learn how to function responsibly in society, which is a reasonable concern and an important contribution to the debate. However, the article also has clear weaknesses. One major weakness is that it is largely opinion-based and does not rely on scientific research or data to support its claims. Unlike Zhang et al., Anthony does not reference studies, statistics, or psychological theories, which weakens the credibility of the argument in an academic space. The article also tends to generalize soft parenting, treating it as a single approach rather than acknowledging that parenting styles vary among families. While Anthony raises valid concerns, the lack of empirical evidence makes the source less reliable for academic research. Overall, Anthony’s article is strong in readability but weaker in academic analysis, making it better suited for opinion-based discussions rather than scientific evaluation.

Your Opinion/Conclusion/Compromise

After reviewing both perspectives, I believe that neither overly strict parenting or overly permissive parenting is the best approach on its own, and that meeting somewhere in the middle is the most effective way to support children's development. Both sources show that extreme parenting styles can lead to negative outcomes, which suggests that balance is key. Harsh and punitive discipline, as shown in Zhang et al.’s research, is linked to higher stress, aggression, and difficulty with emotion regulation, which can harm adolescents in the long run. At the same time, Anthony’s article highlights how parenting with too few rules or consequences can prevent children from learning responsibility, self-control, and accountability. In my opinion, parenting should involve clear expectations and boundaries, but also emotional support and understanding. Children need structure to learn how to behave responsibly, but they also need warmth so they feel safe and supported. However, I also believe that parenting should not be one fits all. What works for one child may not work for another, especially during adolescence, when emotional and psychological needs can vary. A balanced approach allows parents to adjust their methods based on the child’s news, rather than strictly following one parenting style. Overall, a middle-ground approach that avoids extremes and adapts to adolescents’ individual needs appears to be the most realistic and healthy compromise.

Works Cited

Anthony, Jessey. “We Are Failing Our Children with Soft Parenting — And It Gets Worse.” 10 March 2025, https://medium.com/hello-love/we-are-failing-our-children-with-soft-parenting-and-it-gets-worse-2a9777e9c073.

Zhang, Ludan, et al. The Impact of Harsh Parental Discipline and Emotional Warmth on Adolescent Problem Behaviors, 6 June 2024, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11164210/. Accessed 26 January 2026.